Bella Istanbul 3, Bologna

BOLOGNA. Buona sera, Döner Fans! Welcome to Dr Döner’s most exotic review yet! What, more exotic than Coventry? More exotic than Warnemünde? Yes! Strap yourselves in, for we are jetting off to Italy, to sample some world-famous Italian cuisine.

At least, that is what Dr Döner planned to do when he rocked up in Bologna. But after asking everywhere for spaghetti bolognaise and being palmed off with something called ragù, I was starting to feel a hankering for more familiar cuisine. After all, there is only so much pasta one can eat before one feels in dire need of something else, say, a kebab.

And thus it was that, having returned to Bologna from a daytrip to Parma (the home of both Parma ham AND parmesan cheese) my cravings demanded I visit the nearest kebab shop pronto for a dose of proper food. Exiting Bologna train station onto the Via dè Carracci, my eyes caught the flickering glow of a neon sign, and I knew I was in luck. There it stood: Bella Istanbul 3, as majestic as any duomo or portico or leaning tower that Italy has to offer.

The entrance to Bella Istanbul 3, with the customers’ faces tastefully anonymised. I don’t know where the 3 in the name comes from.

The Via dè Carracci is a rather shady street at night, with little to offer apart from a taxi drop-off point. Bella Istanbul 3 thus shines out as a haven in the dark, and I approached its glowing doorway in slack-jawed awe. Glancing across the menu, I searched for something familiar and settled on the ‘panino kebab’, which looked most like a döner. I paid 5 euro – more expensive than Brussels but less than the 6 euro I paid recently in Berlin – and awaited the results.

The kebab man and I muddled through the details in a mix of poor Italian and questionable English. He pointed at each ingredient, to which I replied ‘si’ or ‘no’. It went like this: ‘Spicy sauce?’ ‘Si.’ ‘Cabbage?’ ‘No.’ ‘Onion?’ ‘Si.’ Etc. You get the idea. It was all rather brisk and thrillingly efficient. Certain of the options were rather bemusing, however, such as the chips and ketchup (who wants those in a kebab?) but I did say ‘si’ to the two hot chilli peppers that he secreted in my kebab, and then forgot about them until I bit into them later.

The panino kebab – ready to be consumed.

The kebab man wore an amused smile throughout the whole transaction, and I couldn’t help but be swept up in the good humour of it all, letting out a little chuckle of delight. This was in contrast to the hostile stares and dirty looks of the other customers in Bella Istanbul 3, most of whom looked like they would gladly have duffed me up on the spot.

Soon my panino was ready and I rushed off to my hotel to eat it. And to my delight, it was delicious. Perhaps it was the surfeit of pasta I’d consumed in the previous days; perhaps it was because I hadn’t eaten for several hours. But something about that kebab ticked all my boxes. It was meaty, with fresh salad and a nice spicy kick. It was far superior to the kebabs of Brussels, and I will dare say that it was almost as good as an authentic Berlin döner. Bravo, Bella Istanbul 3! You have impressed me.

The best meal I had in Italy.

And so, Döner Fans, if you’re ever drifting through Bologna, tired of the endless zest and flavour of Italian cuisine, pay a visit to the gentlemen at Bella Istanbul 3 and have them prepare a proper meal for you. Just watch out for the surprise chillies!

Results

Service: 5/5 (very jolly and efficient)

Atmosphere: 2/5 (a little threatening)

Price: 3/5 (cheaper than my last kebab in Berlin)

Taste: 4/5 (delicious!)

Photos by Dr Döner